The Wit & Humor of Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, typified the tongue and cheek wit and humor of the 19th century. It was a time when the country was growing - there were still roaring gold camps, the Mississippi Riverboats were in their hay days and man went about life at a slower pace. Mr. Twain had a way about expressing his views. He would bring it down to the common dominator with a twist at the end. Life in the 21st century is a far cry from the 19th, but Mr. Twain’s basic truths still hold true! Here are a few of his more memorable quotes.

The passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Put all your eggs in one basket and — WATCH THAT BASKET.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

When in doubt, tell the truth.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah didn’t miss the boat.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

When I was 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Courage is not the lack of fear - it is acting in spite of it.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.