KEN'S KORNER - AUGUST 2003
FLASHY NEW INVENTION
By Author, Educator and Big City Driver Ken Skaggs

Only in America. Is this a great country or what? Where else can you copyright an idea, get $100,000 for research, and all kinds of press and news coverage, for something that millions of Americans have already been doing for decades? It took two professors (Virginia Tech Psychology Professor Scott Geller and Radford University Professor Jerry Beasley) to come up with this brainstorm they call “The Flash”.

The Flash is a little green light that you attach to the back window of your car. Then, through a series of flashes, you can communicate with other drivers. One flash for “Please,” two flashes for “Thank you,” three flashes for “I’m sorry,” and four flashes for “Call 911.”

I always thought inventions were things that made life easier or better. This one took a simple thing and complicated it. Now, we all have to go out and buy this green light, install it, and learn the four flash codes. Despite all the positive press coverage this thing is getting, let me be the first to say, “It will never happen.”

I like the system we already have. Truckers have already been doing it longer than I have been alive, and it’s really much easier. Plus, you don’t need to buy any newfangled products. It’s this easy: flash the headlights for “Go ahead” and flash the tail lights for “Thank you.” If you really want to communicate more than that, then go get yourself a CB radio. I see more and more cars these days flashing their lights at trucks and talking on a CB. I think all drivers, four-wheelers included, should be encouraged to flash lights and install CB radios. We don’t need a green light in the back window. It’s just not practical. For one thing, most trucks don’t even have a back window.

After studying aggressive drivers for twenty years, Geller claims we are trained to be discourteous and aggressive. Did I mention he is a professor? I don’t know where he did all this studying, but I’ve taken many license exams over the years, including CDL tests in California, Illinois, and Wisconsin, and everything I have ever read teaches safety and patience.

There’s only one plausible thing about “The Flash” in my opinion. It’s the “Call 911" signal, which is a good idea, but that alone is not enough for all this flashing. That gives me an idea that I will copyright here and now: a blue light on your bumper that you can activate with a footswitch. Or, better yet, no light at all, just a signal sent to the police and, through satellite technology, they can track you. Are you listening Onstar? Lojack? Qualcomm?

Don’t get me wrong - I’m all for getting rich. It’s the American dream. Come up with a good idea and then market it to the masses. I often think about how I could do it too. Unfortunately for Mr. Geller and Mr. Beasley, this ain’t it. They did manage to get $100,000 from the National Institute of Health to test the device in Christiansburg, Virginia, which has about 17,000 residents. I wonder if they get to keep the change after the test is over?

I can see it now - aggressive drivers will be flying around saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” to everyone that they cut in front of. Then, the people who are cut in front of by them will be wondering what the flash code is for “You a-hole!” And why the “Please” flash code? Isn’t a turn signal already that?

Geller and Beasley claim their motivation for inventing this was trying to reduce road rage. They say that through polite gestures like please, thank you, and I’m sorry, other drivers will be less apt to get angry. That may be true for some drivers, but I also think it will aggravate others. You can probably tell that I think their motivation was money. After all, all of those messages could be said without buying a green light.

Having said that, I would also add that I do wish them well. After all, we could use all the help we can get, in the road-rage department. If it helps, then that’s great. If these two guys can make a fortune for their idea, than that’s great too. As for those of us who don’t feel the need to rush out and buy The Flash, I would like to suggest the time-tested trucker system mentioned above. It promotes courtesy and that, in and of itself, can reduce road-rage.

As for how to reduce road-rage, I have often said do the math, practice patience and realize that everyone is not as smart as you are - that’s what always worked for me. Do the math to realize the actual time lost when, for example, you get stuck behind a slow vehicle. Know how much time you will save before you pass. Practice patience because patience is a skill and you have to practice it, if you ever expect to be good at it. And realize that everyone is not as smart as you. Compensate for the ignorant and count yourself as one of the lucky ones who was born with the capacity for abstract thought.

Good drivers need some confirmation of that fact and bad drivers need to wake up. Whichever one you are (and you know), you’ll find it at www.bigcitydriver.com. Please check it out the next time you're online, and thanks for listening.