Ken's Korner

When the sun is just about to rise, it lights up the sky in the east. Before the eye piercing globe shows itself, you can see a silhouette standing on the horizon (cue the theme song to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly). There isn’t enough light yet to make out his face, just the shape of a man, standing there. A shadow. He wears a cap, not a cowboy hat. And his brim is pulled down low. He doesn’t ride a horse, he drives a truck. And next to him is the silhouette of the truck he drives. On his right hip, there is a cell phone. He wears it low, clipped on his pocket, instead of his belt. That way, his hand hangs right next to it, for an easy and quick grab when needed.

There is no glory in what he does. No audience to applaud his efforts. Only the personal satisfaction that swells from within, for a job well done. He looks out at the highway, his home. And he alone knows that it is a better place today, than it was before he came.

When he is working, he is always alert. He has sharp eyes that dart left and right and quickly focus on wrongdoing. His peripheral vision is better than most. He can spot a lane dodger in his mirror as far behind him as anyone else who is looking directly at it. And if they have a phone number on their vehicle, he will surely dial it. Safety is his game, and anyone who doesn’t play is fair game for the Phoneslinger.

He has a zero-tolerance policy, when it comes to tailgaters. Especially those who do it constantly and leave no room for error. He considers them unqualified for the task at hand and unworthy of the paycheck that comes with it. And those that do both, tailgating and lane dodging, are the worst yet. He will even call information for the phone number, if they don't have one printed on their truck.

It is a lonely, thankless job, but someone has to do it. He knows that if he were to simply let them go, some innocent kid might get killed by this person one day. Someone's grandmother, going slow in the left lane, doesn’t deserve an eighty-thousand pound nightmare in her rear view mirror. One wrong move could be fatal. But, as long as the Phoneslinger is around, she’ll be safe.

The Phoneslinger lives to drive and he drives to live. He loves driving. He’s an easy going guy who doesn’t get upset at the little things in life. And if you ask him for a hand, he will be the first to lend one. He is always polite and he is well-mannered. It takes a lot to get him mad. But when he does, you had better look out. He is prejudice against people who are prejudice. He has no tolerance for people with no tolerance. He has no patience for people with no patience. When he sees an aggressive driver, he gets aggressive on his phone. And he never gives in to peer pressure.

Some drivers stick together, right or wrong. They are afraid to speak up to their peers when they are doing something stupid, even if they obviously are. But not the Phoneslinger. He will say anything to anybody at anytime, if he feels it is worth saying. Many times he has told drivers on the C.B. to back off, or to relax. He tries to educate them and help them realize that safety is done on purpose. He tells them that patience is a skill and if they want to be smart, they had better learn that and practice it. Sometimes they listen and learn. Other times they don’t. Sometimes they just argue and continue acting like a fool. That’s when the Phoneslinger goes into action.

He has called some companies more than once and he knows some of the owners by name. They appreciate him too. But they don't like it when he calls, because they know that the Phoneslinger usually only calls with bad news. He has occasionally called to report good news, but not nearly as often. Sometimes they will even call the Phoneslinger back the next day, to report what disciplinary measures were taken. Some even try to offer him a job, but the Phoneslinger likes to work independently.

He’s a loner, for the most part. But, those who know him, know him well. There is nothing phony about him. Some would even say he is without peer. If you are an aggressive driver, you might call him a tattle-tale. But if you own the company, you might call him a hero. Whatever you think of him, doesn’t matter. Not to him. He knows who he is and he likes himself just the way he is. You’ll never change him. You are either with him, or against him.

If you hang around him long enough, his message of safety will rub off on you. But, it’s a good message. One we can all live a little longer with. He wants you to be a Phoneslinger too. To be part of the solution, instead of the problem. To help teach the people that you know that safety is smart and that impatience is not.

At the end of the day, when the sun sets, he pulls the brim of his hat down over his eyes and sleeps good, with a clear conscience and a proud smile on his face. He knows that this is a never-ending battle and that he is needed to help fight it. He also knows that there are others out there just like him, and the roads are safer because of them. So, wherever you go, please be careful. Because you never know if the Phoneslinger is watching.

If you like this story, there is more where that came from. Check out www.bigcitydriver.com and see for yourself. You'll find a bevy of information, facts, tips and fun all waiting there for you. Have a great holiday season - and I'll see you next year!