I’ve been writing poems for quite a while now. Some are funny, some are sad, and some are quite candid and personal. Over the past few years, I have been blessed and honored to share this hobby with you, and I’ve had lots of feedback when I talk to people out on the road. I spoke with another driver a few weeks back, who said he enjoyed my song parody poems, which I submit on occasion. I enjoy coming up with funny, whimsical, song parodies from time to time. While I tend to prefer to write completely original poems, I like song parodies because they can be easier to arrange and fun to recite. But, they also have a challenging aspect to them, as song lyrics don’t always flow as well in print as they do audibly. So, they can be tricky to write, since the reader must become familiar with the original tune for the printed parody to make sense. In light of that driver’s encouragement to write another song parody, I came up with this version of Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” for this month. If possible, please take a few minutes to listen to the original song, then follow along with my version, which I call “My Tractor Thinks I’m Sexy”. Then, once you get the hang of it and the tune is flowing well in your head, I dare you to sing this version to an audience at a karaoke party! Some people in the room might not understand, but as truckers, we are kinda used to that!
MY TRACTOR THINKS I’M SEXY!
By Trevor Hardwick
How does it feel when you’ve got no one,
I’m over on my weight and I’m not so young.
Been askin’ for a woman but there ain’t one askin’ for me.
I’ll take a shower soon and I’ll wash my truck,
Tap a little throttle and she fires right up.
Just look at her face, she ain’t a-foolin’ me…
My tractor thinks I’m sexy! I really turn her on…
She’s always purrin’ at me, while I’m truckin’ along.
She likes the way I’m pullin’ with the shifter in my hand.
She ain’t a-gonna leave me for some other man.
I’m the only one who talks about her when I’m texting…
My tractor thinks I’m sexy!
She’ll take any load ‘til we’re plain outta sight,
She don’t really care if I’m heavy or I’m light.
I don’t really squawk ‘cause she’s soft with her radials on.
She rev’s about as clean as a new diesel is,
She bumps a little hard but it is what it is.
And one more thing you oughta know before I take her home…
My tractor thinks I’m sexy! I really turn her on…
She’s always purrin’ at me, while I’m truckin’ along.
She doesn’t mind my belly when it hangs over my belt.
She doesn’t think I’m smelly when there’s something that I dealt.
She was born to run and I’ll go anywhere she lets me…
My tractor thinks I’m sexy!
Well she ain’t in 10-4 or Trick-My-Truck,
But if I run through her gears, man she lights right up!
(I think my tractor…)
My tractor thinks I’m sexy! I really turn her on…
She’s always glaring at me, while I’m polishin’ chrome.
She lights up when I’m rollin’ and it’s going to my head.
She even kinda sways me when I’m in her bed.
She’s my only one ‘cause women always did perplex me…
My tractor thinks I’m sexy!