SENSES AND SENSIBILITY
BY TRUCKER/POET/ARTIST TREVOR HARDWICK
It has often been said that trucking can make you lose all your senses (both literally and figuratively). This fun yet exaggerated poem about the numbing of the senses (literally, in this case) refers to some real things that happen to truckers out on the road. People ask me all the time why I drive a truck - with high fuel prices, licensing fees and insurance rates, ridiculous rules and regulations that are almost impossible to follow, little respect from the general public, and the high risk of having a crash or getting hurt every day - one might wonder why ANYBODY wants to be a trucker. Well, the easy answer is that we have no sense. I guess that ties in with this poem, too. I hope you enjoy it!
DON’T LOSE YOUR SENSES
By Trucker/Poet Trevor Hardwick
I had my cruise set - I was mindin’ my own,
Talkin’ to my baby on the telephone.
When a big truck – mergin’ in from the right,
Was lit up like a Christmas tree with chicken lights.
So I moved left – I let him ease on in.
Then I hit my signal to get over again.
Like a flash burn – from a welders spark,
His high beams flashed and everything went dark.
I said “whoa, man! What’s the big idea?”
“Did you think with all those lights, I couldn’t see ya’?”
If there’s one thing – I can’t afford to lose,
It’s the function and the purpose of my baby blues.
Later on that night – I was catchin’ some “Z”s.
My windows rolled down, I was catchin’ a breeze.
But the breeze brought – that familiar smell,
Of the perfume in the parking lot we all know well.
Such an awful smell – I couldn’t take much more.
Like a cattle truck parked outside my sleeper door!
With my nose plugged – my windows rolled up tight,
I did the best I could to try to sleep that night.
When the morning came – I had to fight my way,
Through the line to get a shower, just to start my day.
Now my eyes hurt – from the night before.
My sinuses were plugged and now my head was sore.
I hoped a good rinse – through a nice, hot shower,
Would get me feelin’ good within about an hour.
But it was so cold – that I nearly froze.
And now I can’t feel nothin’ from my head to my toes!
I’m in bad shape – to be honest, guys.
With my numbness and sinuses, and bloodshot eyes.
It aint the best way – to get me on my feet.
I could use a cup of coffee and a bite to eat.
So I sat down – and asked the waitress “Please.”
“A coffee and an omelette, with some ham and cheese.”
She said “Yes sir – it’ll be right up.”
And in a couple minutes came my coffee cup.
With a quick scream – and a few choice words,
I might’ve said some things no living sailor’s heard.
It was so hot – when I took that sip,
I no longer have a taste bud or an upper lip.
So I paid cash – then I walked outside,
To put a little diesel in my big, bad ride.
When I pulled up – to that diesel pump,
A Kenworth parked beside me with a belly dump.
Like a bad joke – just to raise some Cain,
He blew a horn that sounded like a choo choo train.
So now I’m tone deaf – I can’t hear a thing,
Except the constant hummin’ of a high pitched ring.
So let’s recap – I can barely see,
I think my sense of smell is in recovery.
And I can’t feel – ‘cause my flesh is numb.
And my taste buds are gone on my blistered tongue.
But the worst part – I can hardly hear.
Sometimes I wonder what the heck I’m doin’ here.
I guess I’m alright – it was just bad luck.
You’re bound to lose your senses if you drive a truck!